I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
