3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
