Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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