they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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