These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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