No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
