bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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