if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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