Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
