Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
