Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
