did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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