so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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