Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
