Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
she pinky promised me she was 18
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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