Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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