barbara walters just said penis...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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