Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
