is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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