My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Don't tell me you're on acid again
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
