We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
