I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
