hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
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