I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
