The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize