Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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