I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
