I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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