Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
