Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
