I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize