At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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