just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
My vagina just recognized that song.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
