He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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