so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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