Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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