so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
