I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
