Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
When are your genitals available?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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