Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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