never play flip cup with pint glasses
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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