He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
