i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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