i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
