I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
