well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
