Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
