im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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