there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
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So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
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