please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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