last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize