i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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