Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize