At least make sure they are 18
Why
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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