how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
