This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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