Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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