dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize