So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
