Only a mothe r could love this liver
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize