Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
