he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
