Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
