there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
foreskin is a definite game changer
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
