i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
