A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
